But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect
in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
I hate being weak, I am hating each moment of realizing I cannot just get up and go "do it for myself". I have always been like this. I don't rely well on others because others let you down. I also have no patience...
As a little girl, I remember my hair was long and straight my mom would love to brush it. I wanted to do it for myself. I also hated it when she would braid my hair, it took too long for me. I wanted to be away, doing what ever it was I wanted to do. Not sitting, waiting for the time to pass, when mom would be done.
This week is a series of waiting... Waited at the side of the pool at the park for someone to help me get to first aide. The comment from the life guard, in her early 20's and probably her summer job - "I doubt it's broken ma'am, you wouldn't be doing this well." First of all she called me ma'am and second she was waiting for me to break down. I am not broken or weak... also... my son was there... I couldn't lose it for his sake.
Waiting in my wet bathing suit to be seen at urgent care, husband still at the water park with the rest of our friends and some of the kids... vacation didn't have to be ruined for them just yet. Waiting for my friend to come get me. Patiently waiting. Several times she wondered at how I could be taking it all so
well. Waiting to cry... maybe when I finally am home with my hubbie.
At the surgeons office and the realization of how bad it is. Surgery next week. I haven't broke down yet.
Alone at home Thursday night... my moment, alone, the one everyone is waiting on me to have... Kids are tucked nicely in bed. Maneuvering my crutches, taking myself to bed... lifting my body up I fall back against the mattress I lose all composure which I have guarded close to my vest. All my joints ache, muscles which have been awakened from being unused and overcompensating for the un-stability of my ankle a limb almost completely useless.
I remember the scriptures which say... My power is made perfect in weakness... So I pray instead and thank God for the blessing surrounding us at this time, thanking God for these moments... and another scripture comes to mind. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
As a little girl, I remember my hair was long and straight my mom would love to brush it. I wanted to do it for myself. I also hated it when she would braid my hair, it took too long for me. I wanted to be away, doing what ever it was I wanted to do. Not sitting, waiting for the time to pass, when mom would be done.
This week is a series of waiting... Waited at the side of the pool at the park for someone to help me get to first aide. The comment from the life guard, in her early 20's and probably her summer job - "I doubt it's broken ma'am, you wouldn't be doing this well." First of all she called me ma'am and second she was waiting for me to break down. I am not broken or weak... also... my son was there... I couldn't lose it for his sake.
Waiting in my wet bathing suit to be seen at urgent care, husband still at the water park with the rest of our friends and some of the kids... vacation didn't have to be ruined for them just yet. Waiting for my friend to come get me. Patiently waiting. Several times she wondered at how I could be taking it all so
well. Waiting to cry... maybe when I finally am home with my hubbie.
At the surgeons office and the realization of how bad it is. Surgery next week. I haven't broke down yet.
Alone at home Thursday night... my moment, alone, the one everyone is waiting on me to have... Kids are tucked nicely in bed. Maneuvering my crutches, taking myself to bed... lifting my body up I fall back against the mattress I lose all composure which I have guarded close to my vest. All my joints ache, muscles which have been awakened from being unused and overcompensating for the un-stability of my ankle a limb almost completely useless.
I remember the scriptures which say... My power is made perfect in weakness... So I pray instead and thank God for the blessing surrounding us at this time, thanking God for these moments... and another scripture comes to mind. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
With those prayers... Friday and Saturday, reminders all over the place reminding me where to keep my eyes...
Small beginning, rejoicing to see the work begin... Rejoice to see my healing work
begin....
Small beginning, rejoicing to see the work begin... Rejoice to see my healing work
begin....
I have to wait patiently on the Lord, he hears me cry. The Lord will help me!
| Not within my strength... But Christ's strength.... Christ who strengthens me. |
I have asked myself over and over again... Why is this happening? I have felt within my soul that this is a game changer in my life. I feel those things many times this week and there has been no answer. This morning, scrolling though Facebook, I find... my answer!
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