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A full year!

12/31/2014

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A friend of mine posted the following quote on Facebook today, I don't know where it came from but for sure sums up my feelings this year, more so than any other year.

         "I'm definitely not the same person I was when this year started."

2013 left me feeling like I was in waiting, treading water - waiting endlessly for God to move, to work on me and in me and finally for Him to use me.  Where He asked me to go, I followed... sometimes reluctantly, sometimes I didn't go at all... but He was and is moving in my life.

Almost exactly one year ago I started this blogging journey.  I had no idea what it would turn into or how it would change me.  I had no idea what it would be for those of you reading.  I can say I am a better person because of you, my friends.  I am better because of the cheerleaders, those of you who proofed my work, who reassured me a thousand times that I wasn't stupid for doing this - that my words make a difference.  When I lost faith in myself, there was another team of people, commenting on my posts. Those of you who've prayed with me and for me.  Those of you who have encouraged me to enroll in blogging workshops and send my "stuff" in. Those of you who've guest blogged... or better yet, began writing again because of a spark you felt here.

I have made some new friends this year and have lost some very good ones.  I have literally been broken and rebuilt with metal; other times I have felt my Spirit break as my faith was not only called out but was also tested and tried.  There were days words wouldn't come... there were days where only the angry ones wanted to bubble up and out. There were days and topics I was scared to write... and you've been there for it all.


Blessed beyond measure, that is what I am.  Not only do I have a God who loves me and sees me through every hill and valley, who bought me on the cross... but I have friends like you all who believe in me and give me courage every day.

The end to 2014 opens wide the gates to new adventures, possibilities and closes some doors I never thought would be closed.  I welcome all of it with hope, joy and excitement... 

Thank you for coming along on this journey with me.  I cannot wait for the words that are in store. 

                                               Happy New Year!!!!
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On Christmas Eve

12/24/2014

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Someone early in the Christmas season posted on a neighborhood community board that they had fallen on hard times. There was a death, a job loss and a whole bunch of other circumstances that led to a sad situation. Facing eviction, utilities shut off... Selling every thing they had to make ends meet and still falling short.

The community rallied around, as communities should, and in the most unexpected way, unfolding in real-time the generosity of human-kind. Their rent was paid, the utilities - in increments - were paid and gifts were arranged for their daughter. There were some nay-sayers who thought there should not be handouts... A hand up was more like it... And a job offer in the end.

And out on the west coast is a family who has whethered the year minus one... An accident took the life of someone much loved on the eve of Chistmas. They have grieved and missed and mourned. They have honored family traditions and toasted to the beloved on special occasions and have never let the loss stray too far from their minds... Always always wishing the loss had never occurred.

Still, this evening is a widow or two that I hold close in my heart. A recent loss of a long time love only 12 days ago. We watch from our front window these last two weeks as family came by, as cars pull in the drive and pull out again, as the cars lined the street after the funeral last week. I read in the paper, just who he was... Mourning a little myself with how little we knew. A lump caught in my chest at the missed opportunities, the moments of time we let slip by for later or tomorrow.

The second widow is my very own grandmother who has maintained home and self for the last 10 years. She's not alone, her son and daughters make sure she has outings and twice daily phone calls. She has good days, she had bad days but all of them are somewhere in between lonely days.

Another family is on my heart... They are maintained in my personal constant prayer vigil. A sweet family who sits at a hospital bedside of their child. A child who is fighting a valiant battle against cancer, too many years now to be fair to anyone, least of all a child.

I think of another family and a baby, so long ago. This baby was born to a couple and the babe wasn't his... But born of the Spirit. His birth was promised and foretold "in the beginning". And hope lay wait for years and years; till the time appointed from above. A babe not born in a hospital but in a stable among animals and laid down in a feeding trough and wrapped not in a blue blanket but burial cloths. His baby shower gifts did not include rattles and pacifiers but instead gave clues to just how important this child would be. A baby born during a time of darkness and unrest when a king had order the annihilation of all babies in the land and much grieving was heard. His birth meant hope, His birth meant provision to our sin and separation, His birth meant ultimate love and grace.

It's far too easy in this season to get caught up in the act of Christmas. I beat myself up for the forgotten items on my to-do list. The batches of Christmas cookies which never got made and decorations which did not manage to make it out of the attic this year... And it all hit me, on the incline of an escalator yesterday. I looked at my list and checked it twice... How silly my fret and worry was... It's okay to acknowledge the undone parts of the season, those things don't really matter.

As the tears threatened to bubble up and and out, each day matters. Each moment and every heart. Each person you welcome in your door. The pulling of your Spirit to spend some time, to give a little of yourself, to fill a need when you see it, to speak with the woman across the street, to pick up the phone and ease moments of loneliness... To pray for a family who needs miracles and the goodness of mankind.

Christmas is a season meant for these moments that break your heart open wide and change the fabric of your being. To experience suffering, sadness, loneliness and loss; to be a part of the hope that only Christmas could bring... A baby born, sent from Heaven to pave the way. They called him Immanuel, God with us. Hope, promise, grace, love - a living sacrifice.

I know these next two days, as we gather I will sit and take it all in... The sights and sounds, the love and laughter. The comfort of home and harth... I will remember how blessed I am, how blessed we all are not just with the things and moments of the day but of the final hope and provision to all who truely believe.

Cherish these Christmas memories, look for ways to make a difference in the lives of others... Give thanks to God for His Son and provision He made.

Merry Christmas to all!

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MOMents

12/20/2014

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The Christmas card... I had been stressing about the annual family Christmas card for weeks. We hadn't scheduled the Thanksgiving family photo session and it was almost getting too late.

Our family photographer moved away and we haven't replaced her. To be honest, family photos aren't my favorite. Outfits are stressful to find, someone's always missing their dress shoes, I inevitably have gone up a size and am usually dissatisfied my wardrobe choices. It also never fails that someone is always... always crabby. That someone is usually my son - love him - but for some reason when we come to the happy smiles moment of picture taking he turns disagreeable which makes mom disagreeable and I inevitably end up wondering why, on God's green earth, we chose to endure it again.

This year... As the days clicked closer to Christmas. As we scheduled the day to pick up the Christmas tree and started to say yes to Christmas invitations I started to doubt our card world get done. I was resenting the day scheduled for perfect clothes and smiles forced between threats of impending doom if we didn't get the attitude right.

Then it hit me... I am trying to create a MOMent, something that "mom" comes up with. Manufactured time, manufactured memories... I was manufacturing moments.

Our card shouldn't be manufactured moments. A fixed fake smile... A picture at a location we have never been before and may never go again... Nope... Our card should contain smiles that were genuine, moments that were breath-taking, show and share our joy and be a reflection of this year for us.

So that is what we have done... I scrolled through my phone and the "shared" photo file of my bestfriend and pulled out the real moments.

The quiet solitude of my daughter looking at smooth rocks in the lake. The sun-kissed joyful smile of a son-"selfie". The sun setting over the lake at Thanksgiving and a driftwood sculpture I came across while on a stroll.

Moments that matter, moments that mean something.

This Christmas my personal focus has been to slow down, to see people all around. To see everything from the perspective that Christ would have. To focus on the moments that matter and fade out the ones that don't... Letting go of the "MOMents" to see the real moments in everything.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for quieter days, thank you for lazy afternoons... Thank you for lake trips and warm campfires. We have been blessed beyond measure this year and I thank you for personal reminders to stop, slow down and not get caught up in all the madness of the things on the to do list. Thank you for the blessing of real memories, tangible heart-felt moments... For your son... The ultimate peace on earth. Amen

I am so thankful for this season.

Merry Christmas from our home to yours!

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The glow of lights

12/14/2014

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The soft flickering of candle light. The quietness of the house. Kids tucked in bed and the heater clicking on.

Deep breath! I love December... I love what Christmas means. I love the reminders in every single thing we participate in.

Reminders of the Christ child every where.

Christmas's past I have missed it. Missed the breath and the wonder of it all. Missed the quiet moment in the chaotic mess of the season... The shopping malls, the to do lists for the decorating, the baking and the entertaining. Invitations and Christmas cards to write.... Missing the point until Christmas Day and then it's over.

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This year though, I vowed a change. I want to slow down and take it all in. Take in the story of the real St. Nicholas, of his gift giving and generous heart for the poor. For his desire to protect the Christian faith...

This year I vowed to take in the celebration of Advent and read to my kids every night so they could learn... But the lesson was really for me packaged up, so far, in the stories of Adam and Eve, of Joseph and his coat, of Rahab and the rope... Of David and his heart, the one only God can see... Of Ruth and Naomi and it all points to Christ.

Tonight we read about being the light in the world, a people who shine in the darkness. Who provide a smile, a hug, a warm home opened to others... A meal for someone who doesn't have one. Gifts for those in need...

And the gifts... Not in the physical presence of a gift but rather giving so as to remember the greatest gift of all. Giving a great gift to bring around the fantastic wonder of the babe in the manger.

To sing Christmas songs with a new heart, not because they are pretty rather for the deeper meaning. Singing not for me but because God deserves to be worshipped that way.

And ultimately... Realizing that at the end of all this Christmas and the baby was the beginning to a promise fulfilled. A perfect man, a man who was God... On the cross, forsaken, dead and raised again paying for the sins of all mankind.

In the stillness of the house... Against the glow of Christmas light and candle light I sit in awe and absolute wonder of it all. I am taking quietly in that which He has impressed upon my heart. Love notes from heaven to earth... Love notes wrapped swaddling clothes and burial clothes.

How blessed we are for this great provision... This great love.

Dear Heavenly Father, sitting almost in the middle of your Christmas season reading your word and your promises. Feeling blessed in worship, feeling blessed in your provision. I know you are love, I know you are good and I know who I am in you! Thank you for loving me. Thank you for providing my path and guiding my steps every day. Lord, in the hustle and bustle of this time please focus me daily on what is good and right! Amen

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    Me:

    i am a Jesus follower.  i am a wife, mother, home-maker and event planner.  life is crazy most of the time but i wouldn't trade one minute.

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