Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day, for the day that you made.  I thank you for your son who died on the cross to save us from our sins.  I pray that you watch over my son... my daughter tonight as he... she sleeps.  Protect their dreams from turning into nightmares and keep them safe from harm.... and if... they get scared, I pray they remember they can turn to this prayer and remember you are with them always, even in the dark of night when mommy isn't here.  I pray they grow up mighty and strong in your army.  I pray all of these things in your sons Holy name.  Amen

That is a version of a prayer I have prayed over my kids for the last six almost seven years.  I pray that prayer when they are awake, with them. Sometimes I start it and I ask them to finish it so that they... learn... how to pray.  How to speak to God when we're not here, because we wont always be here. 

Saying that prayer tonight, I had a light bulb moment.  Rolling around in my head all evening I wanted to talk through, walk through... have a conversation with someone, anyone actually... that's what girls do.  They call their best girl friends... they call mom... going down my favorites in the contact list on my phone, just not available.  So who do I have to speak with... who will help me right at this moment? No one actually!  Thus I am left with my thoughts... thoughts which aren't necessarily nice to the soul!  I try hard to keep my focus on everything. 

God wants me to speak with him.  God wants me to look to him and have a conversation with him... not poll my friends and family.  He wants me to look up.  So at prayer time tonight, with my kids... ingraining in them to remember always, look up.  When you are afraid, look up.... he is omnipresent - always there.  I am expected to look up, come to God in prayer, share my struggles with him...

So tonight... I pray for myself.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this day, for the day that you made.  Thank you for your son who died on the cross for my sins.  I pray that I remember to look to you.  I know you are with me.  I know you go before me.  I know that you have been here all along.  Keep me on this path, show me the way.  Even when the road looks hard, impossible... even when it makes no sense at all.  Amen

I have been stuck ever since the Pricilla Shirer simulcast...

I am listening to her talking about faith and obedience which starts with setting your table for God. Re-read that please, set your table for God. Just how would you set your table for Him? Forget the China or the every-day dishes just set it... put out your plate, ready to be filled with nourishment for your body and soul; your fork and knife prepared to take it in, a glass to drink Him in. I try to escape to that place  now.

Listening to her talking about cutting away part of you, of whatever it is that God wants you to walk away from, for me... I've been all over the map, I do think I figured it out, after much prayer... Much conversation... Ready?! Set?! Go!!!!  I am going...

Pray it anyway she said... Even if it's crazy, even if it will cause you pain- pray it anyway. Then, when  you receive your answer Go! go there anyway.. Even if you don't understand, even when that way looks impossible... Pray it anyway and go there anyway.

I pray to the All Mighty and he listens! He  collects my tears, he answers my prayers and he's waiting on me to praise him with thanksgiving. I can stand watching and waiting for his direction an he guides. He guides in the form of others... In nature, with words spoken softly to you. He comes as a mighty wind... He comes in the form of a garden flower.

So. I have figured out that what I need to cut out is a stronghold... Which was hard for me to understand. As the daughter of an alcoholic I know what a stronghold looks like. Surely I am not addicted to anything....

Then it got me...  I need to unwrap what it is I think He wants for me.  I need to be listening to Him in our quiet moments; in prayer, in the word, when the wind blows and you see a trace of the path you're supposed to take. 

The STRONGHOLD of my faith, what I am doing now might not be what he wants me to be doing.  Thus, closed doors... the quietness of his voice calling me away. 

Not just me, but my husband as well. When the Spirit unites this husband and wife to the same calling, the same conclusion... you pray it anyway and you go there anyway.
 
As I said in a previous post, I am waiting on God. My feet will not take another step unless he is walking me across the path...

If you've been following this blog you've read the guest bloggers I had the honor of sharing with you.  I've been just blessed with behind the scenes conversations, I have been in awe of the way God spoke to each of them, leading them to obedience, calling them to listen, asking them to change topics sometimes even after the topic was already chosen and written. Each of these has taught me personal lessons, some have helped teach me to be obedient and listen as well. 

I was also made fully aware that this too, was part of God's plan as I remember my first note over two weeks ago... the words I wrote down for each of them.

Heather - Soulfully Searching and she was... Is. To heal that little girl who endured much more than is humanly imaginable. To search for a time and place to share with her children the past that is buried too deep and yet bubbles close to the surface. Searching to find a way to help her child when no help and hope can be found... She still hopes... She still searches!

Michelle- Joyful... Reducing fear to it's proper size, giving it no authority in her life, drawing strength from Peter's denial and weakness.  For herself and asking all of us to be open to God and his promptings for us, acknowledging God and His plan for our lives, acknowledging when he leads, to have courage and proclaim His great works, His plan...

Tashie - Faithfully taking our Father's hand when He asks her not to run in the street.   Don't get ahead of me, I see the car that is about to back out. Please hold my hand and look to me instead, I will help you find a safe place to plant your feet.

Naomi - Inspire... Inspiring to say enough is enough with all the social. Be brave, step out of the box. Put down your feeds and look up, look around you. I am here and everywhere... Look for me.

Katy - Love! Perfect love... the prefect love of Christ who knows our flaws and loves us anyway. Who said I made you and I love you. Put away your own imagined idea of love and perfection and see what I see when I look at you.

I hope you enjoyed these and somehow have been blessed by their words, their own personal struggles... As Women and Sisters in faith we need to extend a grace to each other, to lend an uplifting word, to smile, to love each other and ourselves and remind each other that we are not alone in our
season(s)... There is always someone praying for you, waiting to speak with you, waiting to come along side and help out.

Let's work to be better Sisters rooted in Faith.

A few months ago, in a small group with some women from my church, my
pastor’s wife asked us a question: If you stood in front of a mirror, would you
be able to look at your reflection and say, “I love you”?

As I thought about that, I thought about Christ and his love for me. Can I look at myself and love myself the way that Christ loves me? No way! Not even close. There is nothing that I can do that will make God love me any more. There’s also nothing I can do that will make him love me any less. It’s completely and utterly unconditional. And I don’t extend that kind of love to myself. 

So here’s how my conversation with my reflection would go: “Hey. So, like, I love you. Really, I do. But... you need to lose a few pounds. And be more easy going. And play outside with your kids more. And read your bible more. And stop saying you’re going to clean behind the refrigerator and actually do it. And all that other stuff that you procrastinate over. Oh, and stop falling asleep without kissing your husband goodnight. Also I wish you had different hair. And your old boobs. But, I mean, I still love you.”

How horrible does that sound? But you know what’s worse? That’s actually only a fraction of my list.
But the truth is, we all do it. We all have a list of what we believe are faults and we hold them against ourselves, believing that we would love ourselves more if we could just eliminate our faults.

What if we decided to love ourselves no matter what? What if we looked in the mirror and saw ourselves with Christ’s eyes? 

Could you say to yourself “You know, you may never lose those 10 pounds. And you might never be as easy going as your best friend. And even if you die and someone finds a pacifier under your fridge and your GRANDCHILDREN are all grown, I will STILL LOVE YOU. Just as much as I would if you completed your entire list of accomplishments and could sit around all day doing nothing because you are FINALLY PERFECT.”

Could you imagine? Ahhhh, perfection. Isn’t that what we’re after? 

You and I both know that we are expecting far too much of ourselves.
So I think it’s about time we start to offer ourselves some massive helpings of this little thing called GRACE.
It’s the only way we can even begin to come close to loving ourselves how Christ loves us. 

 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake,
 I delight in weaknesses,
in insults,
in hardships,
 in persecutions,
in difficulties.
For when I am weak,
then I am strong.

Unplug----unplug-----unplug-----


This has been my struggle. And I know it sounds crazy: to unplug to reconnect.  But for me it's unplugging from social media.
Unplug from social media to reconnect?! "Isn't that what social media is for?" you might be thinking. To reconnect...with friends, family, important news headlines? 

No, I hear Him say....reconnect with Me. Reconnect with the One who doesn't need a FB feed, Twitter or IG account. Reconnect with the One who already knows your thoughts, mood & feelings. Reconnect with the One who gave you those beautiful children you fill up your IG feed with. That's what I hear Him saying to me. 

We live in a culture where instant is too slow and more is never enough. Where comparison is constant and keeping up, puts us further behind. I'm tired. Tired of being more interested in what is being posted on FB and IG than what is going on right in front of me. What am I holding onto, or rather, why am I holding on so tight to something that is really, not that important? Fear of missing out? Fear of not being missed? Or fear of actually being alone with my own thoughts? 

Ding, ding, ding!!!!! If I stop busying myself with feeds I might hear my own thoughts and not just read the thoughts of others. More importantly I might hear what He wants to talk to me about. 

The Lord is preparing my heart to reconnect. He's been quietly knocking and after much disobedience, I'm finally opening the door. I don't know what He wants to reveal to me or what He could be leading me to, but I can't wait to find out. 

Where do you need to unplug to reconnect with Him? 

I'll leave you with a verse from scripture as well as a few verses from one of my favorite worship songs right now. Both are speaking to me in this season of life and my prayer for all of you reading this is to take a moment and fix your eyes on the One who holds it all. He delights in your presence more than we can ever imagine. 

2 Corinthians 4:18- So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


~Take these hands, I know their empty, but with you they can, be used for beauty in Your perfect plan. All I am is Yours. Take these feet, I know they stumble, but you use the weak. You use the humble, so please use me...all I am is Yours. I give you all my life, I'm letting it go. A living sacrifice, no longer my own. All I am is Yours, All I am is Yours. -Phil Wickham's "All I Am"

Can you hear that?  Lean in... it's the winds of change.  My sisters in the faith are being bold, speaking out, finding the voice that we should have had all along!  There is no shame in proclaiming the One who saves!  Amen to your courage for GOing and DOing what God has placed on your hearts!  Go, Do, Proclaim!

Job 12:7-9 - But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds of the air, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish of the sea inform you.  Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?

Psalm 96:11-13 - Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar and all it contains; Let the field exult and all that is in it.  Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy before the Lord, for He is coming; For He is coming to judge the earth.  He will judge the world in righteousness, and the peoples in His faithfulness. 

Nature proclaims... The trees sing joy, for they already know how this ends.

It ends with Christ Jesus praying... your will God ---

Matthew 26:39 and going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will"

It ends with His betrayal, with one of his own turning on him, this man that had broken bread with him, had seen the miracles, that had walked in his dust... Betrayed!

Matthew 26:48-49  Now the betrayer had given them a sign, saying, "The one I will kiss is the man; seize him."  And he came up to Jesus at once and said, "Greetings, Rabbi!" and he kissed him.

It ends with those that welcomed him into the city just a few days before were now a mob saying "crucify Him" (Thank you Pastor A, I borrowed that last bit from you). It ends with him blameless and beaten, it ends with his walk to the mount.  It ends with the cross in the ground and Him lifted up high. 

It ends with His forgiveness for those that put him there;  "Father forgive them for they know not what they do"...

It ends with "It is finished"...

John 19:28-30:  After this, Jesus, knowing that all things were now accomplished, that Scripture might be fulfilled, said, "I thirst!" Now a vessel full of sour wine was sitting there; and they filled a sponge with sour wine and put it on hyssop, and put it to his mouth.  So when Jesus has received the sour wine, He said, "It is finished!" and bowing His head, He gave up His spirit. 

It ends with a finale better than a movie....  HE.IS.NOT.HERE!!!!  HE HAS RISEN!!!

Matthew 28:6 He is not here; He has Risen, just as he said.  Come and see the place where he lay.

We have nothing to fear for we follow a risen God, we follow the One who Saves all... Not just that guy over there because he's great and he volunteers and his wife is beautiful.  Not just that lady in line at Target with the pretty clothes and perfectly coiffed kids.  Not the elderly neighbor because he serves in church and sings in choir... not just the ones that look like they got it all together because... they don't, they didn't always... and they won't always.

He came to be born, to live, to die and to raise from the dead so that we all could live...

For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God!  This is a day to proclaim.  To shatter the strongholds of our faiths.  To come together as one and proclaim... HE. IS. NOT. HERE!!! HE.HAS.RISEN!!! 

There is not one single soul who can take that from you... don't let your voice dim, don't let the other voice shush you... This is the best news ever my friends!

Courage is Contagious

Me - a guest blogger?  What do I have to share that would be of interest or importance?  For some reason I agreed, but with great trepidation.  That’s my disclaimer.

As a working wife and mother of two amazing children, like most single and married parents I collapse at the end of the day.  If all goes well I have just enough energy to handle personal emails and check in on my friends via Facebook. Quite often, though, as evenings draw to a close and I’m feeling weary, I’m reminding myself to not let the busy-ness of life keep me from praying and connecting with the true source of strength.  My hope is that God smiles upon me with His merciful understanding when I fall asleep on Him.  

Fortunately, over the years I’ve learned that prayer is more than just an activity or bedtime ritual – it’s a state of mind.  A way of being.  An awareness and openness to the many beautiful ways God speaks to us in the course of our everyday lives.   It’s through these relished moments this past week that I was drawn to share my thoughts on courage.  This prompting was confirmed during the Palm Sunday liturgy.  

The Palm Sunday Gospel was filled with statements on courage.   Of course the obvious and most important testimony to courage comes from Jesus himself as He faces his betrayer, captors and executioners with dignity, peace, and grace.  But during Sunday’s Gospel reading I was profoundly struck by Peter’s personal struggle with courage.  

I imagined him at Jesus’ side at the Passover table, confident in his love for Jesus and, empowered by the courage that comes from such love, proclaiming that he would never deny Him.  And then it happened.  Not once or twice, but three times.  The cock crowed.  Everything Peter thought about his faith, honor, loyalty and courageous spirit was dismantled in a few brief encounters with strangers.  

With the grace and love of our Lord, however, Peter’s stumble didn’t destroy a relationship or prompt him to cower in a corner out of shame or guilt.  Instead, he stands by Jesus’ side at the foot of the cross.  Jesus sees his courage. Jesus sees his strength.  Jesus calls him to be the rock of His church.  Jesus transformed Peter’s fear and weakness into courage and strength.  

As we enter into these holiest of days, I’m praying for personal courage.  Real courage.

• The courage to be more open about my love for Him.   

• The courage to acknowledge and respond to gentle promptings of the Spirit, even when they make no sense to my all-too-busy mind or don’t coincide with my short-sighted plans.

• The courage to follow Jesus’s example – praying with abandon and living with a confidence that can only come from trusting in the Father.

What will you be courageous about?  Courage is contagious, so we can join each other in spirit and faith to do it together. Proclaim it in prayer. Proclaim to a trusted friend, or proclaim on this post.  Just proclaim it and watch in wonder as He transforms our doubts into miracles.

Lord, I come.... I confess... bowing here, I find my rest.  Without you, I
fall apart.  You're the one that guides my heart...  (Matt Maher)

Dear Heavenly Father,
Starting new, I will start in prayer.  This silly girl started without you and in your mighty power you unexplainably deleted my blog not once but twice... once without an explanation, it was just gone.  I stayed up till two am re-writing and this morning I deleted it myself, completely by accident.  I read the words DELETE DRAFT and hit that instead of SAVE DRAFT.  So I come... I confess... I am sorry for getting ahead of you.  Please weed out what does not belong and give this girl your words and not my own.  Thank you Father...  Amen

My journey, this path that I am walking.  This, which took an unexpected turn starts over a month ago. 

I went to church on a Wednesday night, not knowing really where I was going, never been there before.  I just knew I had to go.  Hundreds of people sat in the room with me and I blended into obscurity.  The only people who knew my name were the ones I came with; and God, He knew I was there.  He knew because He told me to Go. 

I needed Church this night.  I was tired, the week had been long.  I needed to sit and be.  I needed to hear the songs.  Worship with my whole heart.  The music started; it was loud and it was booming, designed to get people off their feet and people stood.  They raised their hands, lifted their voices and sang praises to the One who Saves!  Then, as if... really it was... divine intervention,  The worship leader told us to sit.  He told us, if we were tired tonight, if we just needed to sit and let the words enfold us, wash over us, if we just needed to sit and be in this place with God - we had permission... his permission to just be!  So I sat and I felt the waves of sound, the beat of the drum in-time with my heart.  I felt the air alive with the Spirit...

The Holy Spirit, my friends, I have felt Him before... in prayer, in a flash during a song, a spot in a sermon.  The Holy Spirit that comes to you, that we are told comes...

Luke 24:45-49
Then he opened their minds so they could understand the
Scriptures.  He told them, "This is what is written: The Christ will
suffer and rise from the dead on the third day,  and repentance and
forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at
Jerusalem.  You are witnesses of these things.  I am going
to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have
been clothed with power from on high."

Acts 2:1-5
When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together
in one place.  Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind
came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were
sitting.  They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated
and came to rest on each of them.  All of them were filled with the
Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled
them.  Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every
nation under heaven.

That Spirit came...  Now let me tell you... I've been waiting for that.  I have been looking for that moment wondering where it was for me.

With Grace in Worship it came.  HE came and HE stayed!  During the sermon... I heard with a new ear, heart and mind as if I had heard for the first time. 

I walked out... moved... in thought, afraid to speak for fear of sounding crazy... wahoo... a little nutty!

I thought... what happens now and the idea began to form that I am ruined for Church as I know it.  I can never go back.

Since then, reminders are all around me.  I question my path, question what I see and feel but everything is pressing me forward.

I cannot go back!  Go back to what?

I am not a Pastor.  Quite frankly I am learning the stories of the Bible over again as they come alive for me when I teach preschoolers in Sunday School.  Maybe, rightly so.... to learn as the children do.  Wide-eyed and with a pure heart.

Alive for me is the God making everything from nothing in 7 days.  Alive for me is the rod and the snake.  Alive for me is the Red Sea parting.  Alive for me is the burning bush.  Alive for me is the mountains moving.  Alive for me is the walls of the fortified city coming down.  Alive for me is THE Savior, MY Savior fulfilling prophecy after prophecy being born, turning water into wine, healing the sick and raising the dead.  Then as Scripture says 1 Corinthians 15:3

New American Standard Bible
For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures

Jesus was sent in all his perfection, without sin and by doing nothing wrong was sent to hang on a tree for me.  Arms stretched out to the east and the west.  Nailed... beaten... bloody... for me and my sin.  For me and the things I can't turn away from, though I should... but Jesus covers all of that for me.

No... Because my faith requires me to believe and live the unbelievable, I cannot go back to those among my faith that say...

We don't pray like that....
We don't believe like that...
Visions don't really happen to regular people...
He won't speak to you that way...
Those things only happened in the time of Jesus...
We can't expect that...

My Salvation Story... you have to tell it you know, your story.  Everyone has one.  You also know the day, the time, the moment you received the Holy Spirit.  But what if you don't?  That makes me weird... my story is a progression of Church attendance in childhood, of my friend in high school who died in an accident that brought me back to church for understanding.  Of 9-11, because lets face it, there was no understanding that. 

Then... with the death of my unborn baby where I pick up my Salvation story.  Like Jesus... She died so that I could live, so that my children could live.  She was prayed for, with every breath she was wanted and loved.  She was planned for before conception. The answer to ten years of waiting.  Surely God has blessed us with a happy, healthy pregnancy...  Except if she had lived, it would just be happily ever-after.  But she did not live.  God said, "not just yet."  8 weeks 6 days in she died... 3 weeks later we found out.  No heart beat.

On the morning of my D&C, preparing my soul and body for the surgery that lay before me.... this shattered, broken shell of a person I was called out... "Where are you and why?!"  and in His majesty and in His glory... he was there... in the midst of. 

Psalm 56:8
New Living Translation (NLT) 
8 You keep track of all my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.

Psalm 22:24  
For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

In that moment He came down to this girl and in his Mercy lifted me up and said "you will have three children".  Blown away... filled with hope... in AWE... it didn't end there.  I didn't pick myself up off the shower floor and say "OK, lets do this".  Far from it.  I still had to have surgery to cut out the dead.  I had to have them physically remove what was gone from me because my body wouldn't do it, couldn't do it... possibly wanted to preserve me so they had to physically take this baby... Numb afterwards, in grief that this mother couldn't hold on to her baby, couldn't let her pass on her own... self-preserving and with guilt had to heal with the promise of two more children.

That was April... December 2006 an new stick... a new life... PREGNANT... And like Hannah... I prayed... be with this one.  Watch over this one.... Let him or her grow strong... Don't let this one die... and I will give this one back to you...  Weeks later... Twins!  Thank you JESUS!  A life gone so that others may live!

So when death brings life... when the Holy Spirit comes... when I am waiting for mountains to move and fire to come... for walls to be broken....  and I am told it can't, it won't, we don't believe like that... 

I say... IT CAN, IT WILL... HE DOES!!!

And weeks after that blessed Wednesday night... at a simulcast God also knew I would attend... when the speaker says --- And YOU are ruined for church as you know it forever.  My being is shaken and rocked... and a fortified city falls.

The STONGHOLD of my religion is broken!

    I recently heard this said, “Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility”.  All of us of have had to face trouble, and disappointment at some point in our lives, right?  I can’t be the only one! I can’t say that I faced my trouble with the courage I needed, or that I even faced disappointment with a cheerful heart.  It’s hard to do, especially when you are in the midst of whatever trial you are in.  We live in a world that is full of unknowns: wars, disasters, economic hardships, dishonesty, health problems, a wayward child… the list goes on. 

            As a child, I grew up in a broken home.  My mom married and divorced numerous times, and as a kid, I had no choice but to go along for the ride.  We have to endure the choices of our parents.  My mom picked some losers to be married to, and I endured a lot of abuse.  Ugly. Yucky. Abuse.  I was always happy for the next divorce.  I won’t go into details, but I did endure some hard stuff; including emotional, mental, and sexual abuse.  I had one dad I don’t remember, and four additional step fathers that each did something different to me.  I grew up afraid of men, not trusting them.  I grew up quite troubled when it came to men altogether.

            Jump ahead to my life now.  I just turned 50, so it’s been a long time since I was little.  Amazingly enough, I’ve been married to the same man for nearly 29 years.  We have five children, and three grandchildren.  Our oldest two children are college graduates, and successful, wonderful people.  Our middle daughter is working her dream job and learning to be a vet tech, she makes us laugh every day.  Our fourth son is a high school junior and is my Mr. fix it and super helper.  My youngest son tried to kill me.  With incredible blessings, also come incredible trials, and sometimes troubles and disappointments.

              I married a very good man, who has been very patient with me as I’ve worked through my abuse issues and patient with me as I’ve learned to trust him.  I’ve needed help overcoming the hurt I experienced as a child. The hurt I’ve experienced as a mom.  I’m finally getting what I’ll call the final step in my healing process, and this time I’m healing the little girl too.  It’s been amazing, and though I often wish I could have received this kind of help years ago, realize I was only ready now.  I’ve needed it most now, so I can heal the mom in me too.

            Courage in the face of trouble.  As I’ve healed my younger self, I’ve remembered several times I was extremely courageous … more brave than anyone I know.  How could I not remember that as I face trials now?  I am courage!  I am courage!  I am courageous as I now face my sweet son who hears voices that tell him to kill me.  I am courageous as I leave my son in good hands, hundreds of miles from me, and know that he will never live at home again.  I am courageous as I turn custody over to someone else entirely, and then fight like a momma bear to stay in his life.  And win.  I am courageous as I face this constant turmoil in my thoughts of him, did I do enough in the time I had with him?  We brought him home at age three, a sweet child who was being given away by another adoptive family who was giving up.  How could they give up?  Why would they give up?  And now, haven’t I done the same thing? 

            I will never give up on my son.  But I must keep us all safe.  I’m learning that giving him up was the most courageous thing I could do for all of us.  It makes our visits more meaningful, our phone calls more precious. Oh how I long to show courage in my times of trouble.  “Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility”.  I have so much work left to do in my life.  I’m still healing… both the child and the mom in me.  I have good days and bad days.  Good weeks and bad weeks.  Days when I truly do face my disappointments with laughter, because if I didn’t laugh, I would sob.  I have weeks that go by so quickly that I can’t believe it, and there has been no crisis, no sadness, no trouble at all!  And other weeks that I need to find the courage to get out of bed.  The rest of that statement is facing the triumph with humility.  I’ve had triumph, and do have to keep my humility in check?  Oh yes.  I think I hang on to the good too tightly sometimes.  Brag about the good things my kids do a bit too much.  Maybe live vicariously through my kids at times. 

            I can say I love my life. I am who I am because of my troubles, my triumphs, and my disappointments, and how I handle each situation as they come.  I am courageous. I am cheerful most days, and I am trying to remain humble. The abuse stopped with me. My children have had a good, often comical childhood, though they have seen me sad and angry without knowing why.  I recently, through the assignment of my therapist, told my children about my childhood.  I think they understand their mom better, and we all love each other despite things that happened to me. 

            “Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility”.  Yes, I will continue to try.  As I pray daily for the strength to have courage, to be cheerful, and to be humble, I will always remember the child in me, and know that I am because of Him.  My Father in Heaven knew I would come through these trials with grace.  He knew I would always try.  He knows I will continue to try. 

I am overwhelmed!  I am overjoyed! I am in awe!

Five Sisters of the Faith coming forward to be guests here.  I prayed for them before I knew who they'd be... I prayed for them as they revealed themselves to me.  I am in continual prayer for them, their hearts and their words... 

I believe God has a purpose... I know it actually, he's given me sneak peeks!  I don't know what all their topics are... Just prepare to be overwhelmed and amazed.

God is so Good!!!

This morning as I was preparing my notes to them I prayed a basic prayer.  I am thankful for their hearts and step out in faith.  I am reminded over and over again this week that we need to remember there are struggles behind smiles.  There is heart-break behind laughter... there is hope and promise of tomorrow when we share with one another, bear each others burdens and offer a shoulder to cry on or a hand up and out.  In this technical age where sometimes the only conversation we get is one-way on a blog we need to remember there is life.  We can only be the change we want to see in the world if we are willing to be vulnerable and open.   We can only truly love others with mercy and grace if we are willing to stop and listen and pray.
 
I was going to give you grand introductions... I think their writings will speak for themselves.  I will leave you with what God gave me this morning... As I was praying for them I also asked God to give me a word/phrase for each of them.  I haven't shared these with them, I wasn't going to share here... until now.

Heather -  Soulfully searching
Michelle - Pure joy
Naomi - Inspiring
Katy - Love
Tashie - Faithful

My friends are now your friends.... ENJOY this week...  Let's see God move.