
{Insert heavy sigh here}
I did not carry my grace card yesterday; I checked it in my purse and left it there. Today the grace card, again, remained checked… and I stewed in the hangover of yesterday’s muck!
My husband and I both work full time jobs, we both are active in church and we both are raising our twins. I think we both forget, sometimes that we are; (a.) in this together and (b.) have the same goals in mind.
Demands on our time pull us in lots of directions; my focus is in one direction and his in the other. Yes, we both have to get up and get the kids ready, ourselves ready. We both negotiate to get the kids to and from school and both of us have to be who we are outside of our home life to others. All of it adds to the pressure but it is rewarding or we wouldn’t do it.
I am also talking about the other things; the To-Do list that never gets To-Done! My “weak-link” is the housework. If you came to my home on any given day (except today because it’s unusually clean) it’s a mess, not fit for entertaining! The kid’s bathroom, is also the guest bathroom, usually it has blue toothpaste in the sink basin which has inevitably hardened over several layers on the way to fossilization. I also can never seem to get the laundry pile folded off the couch and put away… so we pick out of it until nothing is left and the vicious cycle continues. I also, prefer the kitchen picked up on a regular basis and the kitchen table fit for dining nightly; at least four seats cleared and clean anyway.
I know my wonderful husband has other priority areas, but hey --- this is my blog and so my pedestal right now!
So yesterday, when I perceived his sleeping in as slacking on the “must-do train”; after my consistent prompts to get out of bed did not produce desired results…. venom hissed out of me like a snake. I felt disregarded and disrespected. Of course, my goals for the morning were way more important than his. I negated the fact that he’d been up all night working on the garage
(which needs the attention for sure). Again, my goals are not aligned with his. There in-lies, the great disconnect.
Neither of us is right and neither of us is wrong we’re just not playing on the same team and sometimes I wonder if we’re even playing the same sport. I am sure scenarios like this play out in many homes on a regular basis but that doesn’t make it any easier.
So what can I do? What can I control? I can control myself. Instead of saying
the things I said, which I am sure made him want to get up and help me as I am hissing…
I could have happily worked my way out of the house. I should have let it alone until we were both rested, not stressed and ready to be adults.
I could have prayed to be re-aligned, I could have asked for grace. Instead I let myself fail.
Thank goodness God knows I am going to fail a lot in this life. I am thankful he designed things to begin again, refreshed and renewed everyday with the sun through the dark… I get another chance to choose grace tomorrow.
Hopefully, I will choose the right path.