Standing

Lego on the floor... Like everywhere! Pile of clothes on the arm of the couch, I think some of my non-grandma undies may have been visible! The island counter is collecting mail, dishes, more Lego, change and who knows what else. Dust on the entertainment center at least 1/2" thick... Maybe not... But the kids are writing, "dust me"!

Do I cringe a little knowing the sitter is coming over... And the bestie... And the grandparents (who I never allow over in a situation like this)? Absolutely... But this is my life right now.

My company has summer hours.... So we can enjoy more time with our friends and families. Today I received an email from HR regarding a "Selfie Summer contest" where we are encouraged to take "selfies" of our extracurricular summer fun!!! I am half tempted to "selfie" myself in a Lego pile with my boot... Or chillen on the brown leather Lazy Boy with my foot propped up! No summer fun here.... Until my Bestie reminds me that I have summer fun coming tomorrow! (revision see below)!

I feel like the limitations are weighing me down. So caught up in what I cannot do that I am just really not trying. So... Today...

I "took off" my big girl undies and took a shower all by myself. I was afraid of falling with no one to come help me... But I was careful and I have a shower chair.

Then I found clothes myself... Did some dishes with the help of my kids and ran a couple loads of laundry.

I think I have been down long enough.

The garden outside is changing without me... Tomorrow I will venture out there. Me and my crutches will go "off-roading" and I will sit poolside with my best friends and watch the kids swim.

Life really is everywhere and it's more than a situation, it's more than a job or whatever tasks are on the to-do list.

Tired of looking at the sky through the blinds or seeing the wonders of the desert from the car window on Sunday mornings and Monday nights.

I cannot wait to drive again... CD in and windows down. I cannot wait to walk around the grocery store without a plan or head over to the garden center for plants... I cannot wait to have my hands in the earth, tilling up for the fall veggies.

I need a vacation all over again, except schools coming- it's creeping in... The hustle of back-packs and homework... Schedules, dinner time and bed time are haunting on the side-lines.

No, I have definately done my sitting time... I think I can heal standing up...

Regaining my independence, my strong spirit one step at a time.

All thanks be to the Father who gives strength! Who asked me to have a moment of helplessness. Who asked of me to allow others to take care of me. Who has provided every moment along the way. I am thankful for this lesson. I am thankful for provision and shudder at the thought of what I might actually have been spared had life not happened this way. Lord continue to heal these bones, heal this skin. Rest these legs. Bring me through this moment in the wilderness with you stronger, with more faith and courage than I had before. Give me the boldness to speak your Sons name... Give me the words to help bring someone that much closer to you. All of these things I ask in Jesus Christ's name... Amen!

Update:   Sat by the pool... Watching our children swim and cannon ball... Played War... Played Candy Land and drank coffee with my bestie... This coffee cup isn't a "selfie" per se but it does represent a "selfie" moment ...