I am busy right now... I have friends over. I have welcomed them into my home and I need to tend to them. I wish I had stopped at that moment and done what I was told. My house was full... she was alone...
The friends were gone, I am heading out to finish the night off poolside with my kids and best friend... golden arches and drive through window. Easy night and the setting sun. I call her on my way, like I was asked.
Her voice is broken and weak... it is a bad night for her. She cries and tells me she's lived too long... her husband has been gone too long, she's lived too long without him.
Her husband was born April 5, 1923 in Ohio... He passed away July 20, 2005. He was a loving father, husband and grandfather who has been missed every day since. He served his country during WWII in the Navy on the USS Biloxi which was in nine major battles in the Pacific.... At the time he was survived by his wife of 57 years... His son and three daughters and six grandchildren.
He is now survived by his wife of 66 years who has lived without him for 9. She is still very much married to his memory. He is now survived by his son and three daughters and six grandchildren and five great grandchildren that have come since his passing. Those that carry on his stories, the family's stories since his passing.
She's lived too long... how sad that she got to that place that she doesn't feel that she's important or loved; just alone and has exceeded her usefulness.
The following Bible passage which has been spoken to me not once but three times in separate circumstances affirms what I know I need to do, laid upon my heart and confirmed in a conversation...
1 Timothy 5:3-8 Honor widows who are really widows. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. And these things command, that they may be blameless. But if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I called her again... yesterday... to ask if I could stop by... to sit and be with her... she's cheery today. She's in a better place. Her voice isn't so weak and broken... she is the woman I know. And she... apologizes to me... apologizes to me for being so sad, she hopes she didn't bring me down... she's sorry for getting so upset. I tell her it's okay, she didn't get me down or make me sad...
I was mad at myself for forgetting the widow... for allowing myself to get so busy I don't go and see her, I don't call her on the phone... I don't help to fill that empty void... to sit on the couch in her home and fill a space or sit at the table which 16 used to sit at for dinners...
I am the grandchild that has not shown piety and repaid. I am worse than an unbeliever... To this woman who has always given me all she has... I get too busy with church, motherhood, work, life... to remember to love with time and sit with her.
So... today... I have made her lunch. I am giving her my time so that I can drink in hers... so that God can bless us both with this purposeful time. I am also putting her on my calendar... set in stone... once a week... Lunch with Grammy... so she does not feel forgotten... alone... past her time.
Thank you God for this reminder for this gentle correction... I am listening... my head is bowed... I am humbled for your love for her, your daughter even at her age and for me... for loving grace you have showed me and reminded me to be your hands and feet. Amen.