When my husband and I were going through our infertility… Our infertility… let me pause right there a moment. I just have to take a second or two and give props to the husbands. A lot of couples go through infertility; it’s not just a woman suffering alone. Infertility takes a toll on the couple. There are even accounts in the Bible where the husband bore some of the woman’s heartache. In Genesis Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife… Abraham and Sarah… Hannah and Elkanah….
There is a lot to be said for the husband who sticks his wife with hormone shots, who races to the drug store to pick up a pee-stick in the middle of the night just in case this is the month! Yes, there is something to be said for the husband who holds his wife’s tears on his shoulder as they say good-bye to the baby that died at 8 weeks 6 days. The husband who attends the genetic counseling appointment because this is the appointment his wife is afraid of, too many big words and scary realities. It was our infertility… I am thankful I shared it with my husband and he shared the burden with me...
Back to the story…. So I say again, when my husband and I were going through our infertility, we’d talk about having ONE child… we’d dream about who he OR she would be; boy or girl… like me/ like him. I hoped he’d have
blond hair; he hoped she’d have my eyes… all these features we discussed.
We never discussed personalities…
Personalities personified! Oh my goodness. Personalities in the flesh… cute.little.loves, that when the good goes bad you want to squeeze them and
never.let.go!
We are having a tough time with our kids, their attitudes and communication… Why are we having a tough time with this? Our kids, their attitudes and communication have manifested as the attitudes and communication that my husband and I have; as individuals ourselves and to others. Our kids are
learning our “very best” bad habits; whether or not it’s a “genetic thing” or
they are “learning it by watching”.
Some examples… because examples are funny when they are someone else’s smarty-pants kids…
Last night was a late night for my kids, Wednesday’s typically are… I
cannot quite tell you what the conversation was about or why the argument
started but my son and I were just not on the same page. I believe I needed him to get ready for bed and he wanted to show me everything except how he knew to get ready for bed… he had to pee first, he had to show me his library book first, he had to wait for daddy first, he needed a cup of water first… he needed everything first but the one thing I needed him to do, first. And when he got tired of listening to me nag… he walked away, #likehisdaddydoes! I cannot tell you how many shades of red I got, or which way my head started to spin…
It was not a good thing… it was, however, a good conversation starter for his dad and me this morning… To further illustrate this situation, on the heels of last night with my son, my husband had the following experience this morning with my little Faith-child, the one that looks like me; apparently also acts like me… the conversation went like this:
Daddy: (murmuring coming from the living room)
Faith-child: (following daddy into our bedroom) Daaadddd! My cereal is not on the kitchen table!
Daddy: I know that, I asked you what kind of cereal you wanted.
Faith-child: Oh, well if you speak louder I could have heard you.
Mommy: I am sorry honey; you could have respected your daddy a little better and listened to him with both ears. Please pick out your cereal and be patient… I also expect an apology to daddy.
Faith-child: I am sorry dad… (as she shrugs out the room)
My husband looks at me… and says… “She is you!”
Almost as if God wanted to prove his point. This was waiting for me in my inbox at work today… Daily, Positive, Encouraging… K-Love! God has a sense of humor. I wonder how much “smarty-pants” makes him laugh?!
Point taken!
There is a lot to be said for the husband who sticks his wife with hormone shots, who races to the drug store to pick up a pee-stick in the middle of the night just in case this is the month! Yes, there is something to be said for the husband who holds his wife’s tears on his shoulder as they say good-bye to the baby that died at 8 weeks 6 days. The husband who attends the genetic counseling appointment because this is the appointment his wife is afraid of, too many big words and scary realities. It was our infertility… I am thankful I shared it with my husband and he shared the burden with me...
Back to the story…. So I say again, when my husband and I were going through our infertility, we’d talk about having ONE child… we’d dream about who he OR she would be; boy or girl… like me/ like him. I hoped he’d have
blond hair; he hoped she’d have my eyes… all these features we discussed.
We never discussed personalities…
Personalities personified! Oh my goodness. Personalities in the flesh… cute.little.loves, that when the good goes bad you want to squeeze them and
never.let.go!
We are having a tough time with our kids, their attitudes and communication… Why are we having a tough time with this? Our kids, their attitudes and communication have manifested as the attitudes and communication that my husband and I have; as individuals ourselves and to others. Our kids are
learning our “very best” bad habits; whether or not it’s a “genetic thing” or
they are “learning it by watching”.
Some examples… because examples are funny when they are someone else’s smarty-pants kids…
Last night was a late night for my kids, Wednesday’s typically are… I
cannot quite tell you what the conversation was about or why the argument
started but my son and I were just not on the same page. I believe I needed him to get ready for bed and he wanted to show me everything except how he knew to get ready for bed… he had to pee first, he had to show me his library book first, he had to wait for daddy first, he needed a cup of water first… he needed everything first but the one thing I needed him to do, first. And when he got tired of listening to me nag… he walked away, #likehisdaddydoes! I cannot tell you how many shades of red I got, or which way my head started to spin…
It was not a good thing… it was, however, a good conversation starter for his dad and me this morning… To further illustrate this situation, on the heels of last night with my son, my husband had the following experience this morning with my little Faith-child, the one that looks like me; apparently also acts like me… the conversation went like this:
Daddy: (murmuring coming from the living room)
Faith-child: (following daddy into our bedroom) Daaadddd! My cereal is not on the kitchen table!
Daddy: I know that, I asked you what kind of cereal you wanted.
Faith-child: Oh, well if you speak louder I could have heard you.
Mommy: I am sorry honey; you could have respected your daddy a little better and listened to him with both ears. Please pick out your cereal and be patient… I also expect an apology to daddy.
Faith-child: I am sorry dad… (as she shrugs out the room)
My husband looks at me… and says… “She is you!”
Almost as if God wanted to prove his point. This was waiting for me in my inbox at work today… Daily, Positive, Encouraging… K-Love! God has a sense of humor. I wonder how much “smarty-pants” makes him laugh?!
Point taken!
The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them... YIKES!
Jumping out at me…
Integrity:
The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles, moral uprightness, honesty, ethics, virtue, decency, etc.
Moral:
Concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.
Wow! If ever I felt like I needed to reconcile myself it’s about now… Humbled by the lesson, hopeful we’ll get it right and our beautiful children will turn out okay… That we won’t mess up too badly!
My prayer tonight is this…
My Father in Heaven,
Thank you for the privilege to raise your most precious… I know I am not going to get it right every day, hour, minute, moment. I am thankful that you’ve extended me grace. Please help me to speak love, joy, self-worth and your grace to my kids. Help me to remember that they are always watching what I do, help me to live that same love, joy, worth, grace to others and when I falter… let me extend it to myself as well. Thank you for your hands that hold me up, for your love and the cross that saved me… - Amen
My prayer tonight is this…
My Father in Heaven,
Thank you for the privilege to raise your most precious… I know I am not going to get it right every day, hour, minute, moment. I am thankful that you’ve extended me grace. Please help me to speak love, joy, self-worth and your grace to my kids. Help me to remember that they are always watching what I do, help me to live that same love, joy, worth, grace to others and when I falter… let me extend it to myself as well. Thank you for your hands that hold me up, for your love and the cross that saved me… - Amen
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