My Dear Late Wife Wrote These Following Words I Can Only Image Who They Were Written For A Few Names Come To Mind, But Who Knew Her Story Would Soon Follow These Words She Wrote:
I am angry tonight and I have been trying to avoid this topic. I am not sure if it will be posted, it’s too soon but I had to give into the words that have been bouncing around in my head. What do you do when bad things happen to really good people? There is no shortage of sadness in the world that is for sure; no shortage of unspeakable acts on TV, crimes against humanity – too much I can’t keep up. Too much that I am desensitized to it – I just cannot follow it. No news in this house anymore, that’s just the way it is.
But when it hits close to home… when the bad, unspeakable stuff happens to your friends, colleagues… people you love… When you have faith… what do you do?
I see their faces as I type this… I cannot even type out the words of their struggles. Yesterday, as I was hearing for the first time of news, of another struggle… I just sat in disbelief and thought to myself. “Seriously God, like really? Surely you could not have allowed this”. The faith in me knows, that he allows all things… according to his great plan. I don’t see the great in this, I may never see the great in this… So before my own faith could waiver, before I would shake my fist at the sky… before… before I could dishonor Him more. I prayed and then I encircled my Women’s Group and we prayed some more.
Today was much more of the same. I don’t have answers. I won’t even pretend to. Sometimes there are just no words. Nothing to say.
I Now Must Say That I At Times Question God Of Why He Took LT Home, Unlike Her I Have Not Been Angry. I Have Asked For Peace And Comfort From The Only One Who Can Provide Such A Request And That Is Our One And Only Creator, God Himself And He Has Provided Such, But Even My Son Has Questioned At Times To Me, Why Would God Take Such A Strong Player Out Of The Game. I Told Him I Ask God The Same Thing From Time To Time. Some Of Her Story I UnderStand Very Well God Has Reviled Those Things To Me, And There Are Just Times I Asked God Just As LT Did Above "Surely God You Could Not Have Allowed This". I Ask Him How Do You Expect Me To Properly Raise My Kids In Your Spirit, To Have Proper Balance Without Her. Things Are For Sure Out Of Balance Without My Life Partner. So Many Things Have Come To A Halt With Her Not Here Is One Of The Reasons I Question God on His Will, But Here Again I Have Used The Same Words As Her. "I Don't Have Answers, I Won't Even Pretend Too. And As I Have Written In Recent Past, "Sometimes There Are Just No Words. Nothing To Say", But I will Say This I Will Still Love Like Jesus Just As She Did To All That She Surrounded And All That Surrounded Her. My Mind May Question, But My Faith Will Be Stedfast In Him. So I Will Love Like Jesus, Because He Loved Us First.
I am angry tonight and I have been trying to avoid this topic. I am not sure if it will be posted, it’s too soon but I had to give into the words that have been bouncing around in my head. What do you do when bad things happen to really good people? There is no shortage of sadness in the world that is for sure; no shortage of unspeakable acts on TV, crimes against humanity – too much I can’t keep up. Too much that I am desensitized to it – I just cannot follow it. No news in this house anymore, that’s just the way it is.
But when it hits close to home… when the bad, unspeakable stuff happens to your friends, colleagues… people you love… When you have faith… what do you do?
I see their faces as I type this… I cannot even type out the words of their struggles. Yesterday, as I was hearing for the first time of news, of another struggle… I just sat in disbelief and thought to myself. “Seriously God, like really? Surely you could not have allowed this”. The faith in me knows, that he allows all things… according to his great plan. I don’t see the great in this, I may never see the great in this… So before my own faith could waiver, before I would shake my fist at the sky… before… before I could dishonor Him more. I prayed and then I encircled my Women’s Group and we prayed some more.
Today was much more of the same. I don’t have answers. I won’t even pretend to. Sometimes there are just no words. Nothing to say.
I Now Must Say That I At Times Question God Of Why He Took LT Home, Unlike Her I Have Not Been Angry. I Have Asked For Peace And Comfort From The Only One Who Can Provide Such A Request And That Is Our One And Only Creator, God Himself And He Has Provided Such, But Even My Son Has Questioned At Times To Me, Why Would God Take Such A Strong Player Out Of The Game. I Told Him I Ask God The Same Thing From Time To Time. Some Of Her Story I UnderStand Very Well God Has Reviled Those Things To Me, And There Are Just Times I Asked God Just As LT Did Above "Surely God You Could Not Have Allowed This". I Ask Him How Do You Expect Me To Properly Raise My Kids In Your Spirit, To Have Proper Balance Without Her. Things Are For Sure Out Of Balance Without My Life Partner. So Many Things Have Come To A Halt With Her Not Here Is One Of The Reasons I Question God on His Will, But Here Again I Have Used The Same Words As Her. "I Don't Have Answers, I Won't Even Pretend Too. And As I Have Written In Recent Past, "Sometimes There Are Just No Words. Nothing To Say", But I will Say This I Will Still Love Like Jesus Just As She Did To All That She Surrounded And All That Surrounded Her. My Mind May Question, But My Faith Will Be Stedfast In Him. So I Will Love Like Jesus, Because He Loved Us First.
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