Have I talked about finding my voice yet?
My personal friends who read this blog have mentioned to me many times, "I had no idea you could write". Truth be told I used to write a lot through my teens and early twenties. I have even had something published in a book. Unfortunately, over the course of time, though, the writing died out. The fire was extinguished.
It wasn't one thing but a set of circumstances that just made me stop. Personal disappointment after disappointment.
Have you ever heard the idea of picking one word to focus on for one year? One year of one idea to live out... Two years ago my word was Real... I needed to let some friendships go in exchange for Real ones. For my personal health I needed to let some family go in exchange for Real love, for Real compassion... To make room for Real family. I needed to be Real.
Last year my word was Hold. I felt like my personal, professional and spiritual growth were on Hold. I was waiting for... Nothing because it never came. I was Holding. I was also taking a lot in; learning from my surroundings, from people, from the Good Book but always on Hold. Not being used. Holding at home, Holding with friends, Holding at church and Holding at work.
For this year... It's only March and I have settled on my word. Heal! I think you know by now I have found my voice. It hasn't come easy. I have had to let go of hurts and of not trusting; I have had to let go of some great disappointments.
The hurt of losing the belief and knowledge of who I think I am; who I was supposed to be in order to discover the truth. I have had to let myself Heal. I have had to read God's truth and allow it to sink in until it is so engrained I can't deny it, moreover, so engrained that the deceiver of all deceivers cannot get in.
I have had to quietly learn that my gifts are special, to be protected and to be valued. I AM VALUABLE! That's not something I picked up on by accident or because I repeated it into existence. I AM VALUABLE!
Say it with me... I AM VALUABLE... In all the ways that matter, I cannot be replaced... My children cannot replace their mother, my husband could find another wife but not me. As a daughter and a sister, I cannot be replaced... As a friend, I cannot be replaced. Above all these relationships... I cannot be replaced in the eternal kingdom of Heaven. To sit and contemplate all the ways that God loves me... Came down to seek me out... Provides... Hears my prayers, even the prayers that hurt so bad I cannot utter them out loud but rather come out in a primal growl... I have been the one lost sheep that the Shepard came after even when He had 99. How amazing to be counted! I AM VALUABLE in God's Kingdom.
When you know that... That one truth that cannot be taken from you, to be bought and covered over like that; I AM VALUED becomes I AM LOVED, also becomes I AM SET FREE from my past, from what holds me back and brings me to a place of I AM HEALED!
If any of my wonderful friends out there needs to hear these words I hope you read them out loud. It's not silly...
YOU ARE VALUED
YOU ARE LOVED
YOU ARE SET FREE
YOU ARE HEALED
It doesn't get any better than that!
Sleep well my friends...