What do you do with anger or I guess I should say... what should I do with anger? I am working on and through a situation with some family members and I don't quite know how to compartmentalize it. I have had the tough conversations with them... actually once a year right around this time. I have said that their bad behavior does not affect who I am, I will continue to be true to myself... but it is so hard.
I don't want to be the bigger person. I don't want to continually say... OK... yes you really worked me over last week but sure I will come and perform for you. In fact, will be happy to participate in this dog-and-pony-show with hoops that you expect me to jump through given your whim.
The right thing to do would be to turn the other cheek... sure... but... but... really? Again? My face is too red and raw from the times I have been slapped and my gut... well... it just doesn't want to get punched again.
Anger... Frustration... Hurt... Sadness...
The word I hear over and over again right now... is Grace... GRACE... a big old heaping of Grace...
Just saying Grace makes me close my eyes and breathe.
With prayer, in calmness, with love... my solution was to go and speak with them, face to face. They, on the other hand, decided to share information with everyone but me... for an entire year. Face to face works better I think. Two hours later, no closer to a resolution than when we started. I think it actually might be worse now...
The one thing I do know... I did the right thing by speaking with them, things came out that have needed to for thirty years. Today I am not carrying around the weight of these bags. I handed them back over for them to carry for awhile. It was luggage they gave me anyway and guess what... within Christ, those bags don't fit me anymore!
I have realized that some relationships aren't good. Sometimes you have to let it go, if you don't other behaviors can creep into your life. Sometimes you need to free yourself from the relationship that hurts so that you can heal... so you can move on... so that you can look at yourself with the love that God sees in you.
Grace... breathe... Grace...
I don't want to be the bigger person. I don't want to continually say... OK... yes you really worked me over last week but sure I will come and perform for you. In fact, will be happy to participate in this dog-and-pony-show with hoops that you expect me to jump through given your whim.
The right thing to do would be to turn the other cheek... sure... but... but... really? Again? My face is too red and raw from the times I have been slapped and my gut... well... it just doesn't want to get punched again.
Anger... Frustration... Hurt... Sadness...
The word I hear over and over again right now... is Grace... GRACE... a big old heaping of Grace...
Just saying Grace makes me close my eyes and breathe.
With prayer, in calmness, with love... my solution was to go and speak with them, face to face. They, on the other hand, decided to share information with everyone but me... for an entire year. Face to face works better I think. Two hours later, no closer to a resolution than when we started. I think it actually might be worse now...
The one thing I do know... I did the right thing by speaking with them, things came out that have needed to for thirty years. Today I am not carrying around the weight of these bags. I handed them back over for them to carry for awhile. It was luggage they gave me anyway and guess what... within Christ, those bags don't fit me anymore!
I have realized that some relationships aren't good. Sometimes you have to let it go, if you don't other behaviors can creep into your life. Sometimes you need to free yourself from the relationship that hurts so that you can heal... so you can move on... so that you can look at yourself with the love that God sees in you.
Grace... breathe... Grace...
RSS Feed
