The first time, the most impactful time, I can remember hearing the still soft voice of God was in the shower, on one of my worst days... The day I had surgery to remove the 8 week 6 day old body of a little bundle of joy we waited ten years to have. A missed-miscarriage as "they" called it. My body holding onto a little girl who, ultimately, had one too many chromosomes. I know all that now, I know God has His time and His season.
At my lowest of low, crying on my shower floor - "take this desire from me Lord, I cannot take ten more years. I am just not doing this." I heard "You will have three children." But that is another blog entirely!
All I knew is I wanted more of that still soft voice. I wanted to sit at His feet and ask Him question after question. I wanted the desires of my heart to be drowned out by His will. The desire to hear him was born with a fervent heart.
I'd like to tell you, since that day, I have chased Him daily since, for the most part that is true. But let me be real... Mundane tasks get in the way, and before you say "there are no mundane tasks in the eyes of God", I agree. It's just that life begins to seep into the quiet contemplation, rather than chasing the Word life begins to chase time
There is a schedule to keep, kids to get up and dressed, out the door with quick kisses. There is coffee to make and emails to answer and then the "day job" starts!
Try as I might to schedule morning time in with God who so patiently waits for me, sometimes it doesn't happen in the morning. Sometimes it's left till after the kids go to bed and the house is quiet.
When it comes to figuring things out, seeking His will, in prayer, meditation and while giving thanks I find it hard to discern His calling over my selfish heart. Even more, as woman, I find myself on the phone seeking the opinions of my friends, which isn't wrong... except if it drowns out the voice of God who tells me He's all I need.
How do you know? How to discern the voice of God? I am still working through that but for me, I find myself talking to myself and then arguing back. It is then that I know... I know because usually He's asking me to do something incredibly hard, something I don't want to do, something I can't do.
I am left with, my questions... 1) How do I know God is speaking to me and 2) How do I get the courage to do what He tells me to do, without arguing?
Then I found a book by Lysa Terkhurst, When Women Say Yes to God. Life changing may be a bit over dramatic but not far off. I now have an active process to help me discern but can also see the fruits of having the boldness to follow his prompting and I can, with excitement say – it’s working and I love the Lord my God more each day.
Several times over the last month or so I have been answering promptings, strange steps out in faith... even this blog which started at the beginning of the year... with the quietness of a voice that said to "write it out". I have met some amazing people. I have fantastic conversations. I feel myself daring to seek His bigger, brighter will for my life. Dreams which I never dared to consider are being considered now... and all I can think is thank you Lord.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank you for today, I thank you for this evening. I thank you for prayer time with you, I thank you for the ways you mold and shape me. I thank you for love and kindness. Your humble teaching and the bread crumbs you drop along the way for your children to find. Please continue speaking with me... thank you for bending down to hear what I have to say. I will continue to follow you with an expectant heart.
In your Sons Holy name I pray... Amen
At my lowest of low, crying on my shower floor - "take this desire from me Lord, I cannot take ten more years. I am just not doing this." I heard "You will have three children." But that is another blog entirely!
All I knew is I wanted more of that still soft voice. I wanted to sit at His feet and ask Him question after question. I wanted the desires of my heart to be drowned out by His will. The desire to hear him was born with a fervent heart.
I'd like to tell you, since that day, I have chased Him daily since, for the most part that is true. But let me be real... Mundane tasks get in the way, and before you say "there are no mundane tasks in the eyes of God", I agree. It's just that life begins to seep into the quiet contemplation, rather than chasing the Word life begins to chase time
There is a schedule to keep, kids to get up and dressed, out the door with quick kisses. There is coffee to make and emails to answer and then the "day job" starts!
Try as I might to schedule morning time in with God who so patiently waits for me, sometimes it doesn't happen in the morning. Sometimes it's left till after the kids go to bed and the house is quiet.
When it comes to figuring things out, seeking His will, in prayer, meditation and while giving thanks I find it hard to discern His calling over my selfish heart. Even more, as woman, I find myself on the phone seeking the opinions of my friends, which isn't wrong... except if it drowns out the voice of God who tells me He's all I need.
How do you know? How to discern the voice of God? I am still working through that but for me, I find myself talking to myself and then arguing back. It is then that I know... I know because usually He's asking me to do something incredibly hard, something I don't want to do, something I can't do.
I am left with, my questions... 1) How do I know God is speaking to me and 2) How do I get the courage to do what He tells me to do, without arguing?
Then I found a book by Lysa Terkhurst, When Women Say Yes to God. Life changing may be a bit over dramatic but not far off. I now have an active process to help me discern but can also see the fruits of having the boldness to follow his prompting and I can, with excitement say – it’s working and I love the Lord my God more each day.
Several times over the last month or so I have been answering promptings, strange steps out in faith... even this blog which started at the beginning of the year... with the quietness of a voice that said to "write it out". I have met some amazing people. I have fantastic conversations. I feel myself daring to seek His bigger, brighter will for my life. Dreams which I never dared to consider are being considered now... and all I can think is thank you Lord.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank you for today, I thank you for this evening. I thank you for prayer time with you, I thank you for the ways you mold and shape me. I thank you for love and kindness. Your humble teaching and the bread crumbs you drop along the way for your children to find. Please continue speaking with me... thank you for bending down to hear what I have to say. I will continue to follow you with an expectant heart.
In your Sons Holy name I pray... Amen
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