
I am praying.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
What kind of change am I praying for? I am praying for it all! Change as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend... a person... as God's person!
When I feel like a bad mom, inadequate; my prayer over them, out loud, in private, in silence... I pray - Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for this day and for your fatherly love for me. I thank you that you loved me and provided a way for me. I am thankful that when I fall short you correct me with love and grace. Today I was not the best Mom I could have been. Today I did not show my two wonderful gifts the love and grace you show me. I know I can do better, I know they deserve better. Please help me see them each and every day as you see them. Show me new ways to teach them, that they feel loved and cherished.
Thank you for all these things, thank you for your guidance before you provide it. Amen
What does that change look like in the moment... too often I find myself riding my kids... I find my fuse short for silly things... especially the bickering, the ways they pick at each other, goading into a fight... who wins? Mom loses... mom loses it! The change comes when I change my reaction.
Experiment #1 -
Yesterday morning... the bickering... who knows for what... all I know is from the other room it was driving me up and around the wall. I made them come stand before me. I didn't yell, I didn't even speak. I just kept quiet until they started to speak and point the finger in each others direction. I made them stop.
The punishment: Kids... please turn and face each other. They do and giggle a little but try to remain serious. Please hold hands and look each other in the eye. Faith Child, look at your brother and repeat after me... "Brother, I love you. I think you are special and I like being your sister. I am sorry I was picking on you...", She says it and giggles...
Now son... look at your sister and repeat after me. "Beanie, I love you. You are special to me and I like being your brother. I am sorry I was picking on you.", He giggles... says it... all is better... And mom says... hug... now scram.
Experiment #2 -
On the way to school... the bickering starts. I am trying to go to a happy place. The music is up and I am just enjoying this moment. The bickering gets louder... I adjust the rear view mirror and give them the mom-stare-down. It doesn't help, I don't scare them anymore... Instead of yelling... I look at them lovingly and I say... guys... look at each other... hold hands... for five minutes. I want to see happy hearts before I drop you off. By the end of the five minutes they are smiling and laughing and singing....
Grace: 2 --- Mom's Temper: 0
That is what change in discipline looks like.
What does change for myself look like? I can't articulate it yet. I don't know what it looks like but God does. It's not my plan but his. I am thankful for the moment I am in. Thankful for the blessings in this life and ready to rip off the bandage and just do it at his will not mine. I have the faith that God will show me the path for it. There is a fire inside of me, the desire to do something radically different....
I start in prayer. I start with a conversation with my Father. I start seeking his council first. Looking for his guidance. He provides it, always, sometimes loudly in the form of a burning bush. Sometimes quietly, as the whisper in your ear.
Dear Father, thank you for your immeasurable love and grace. Thank you for your Son and the Cross. Thank you for the paths in this life that I get to choose, please help me to see the right one. Your path designed for me. Point me in the right direction. Send me along to do your will and not my own and bring me back when I falter. Amen
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Sleep well my friends...