I wasn't the person I wanted to be this week... I was definitely not winning any trophies for being a perfect wife. I was not given a ribbon for being best mom... I was best in show a couple of times, only it wasn't a good show! I was not the colleague my friends deserved and so many cursed times I let myself down...
These things, these expectations, these situations - were ones set for myself. My husband didn't, my kids didn't and neither did my friends. This expectation was mine alone. My God doesn't even expect this level of perfection I set for myself... You know how I know that? Because he doesn't ask me to be perfect, ever, actually. He expects me to look to him first when times get tough. He also knew I was going to be so far beyond perfection that He sent His Son to take on all my imperfections, the darkness and the sin... Oh, what love.
Tonight, watching the Olympics, watching perfection... watching imperfection. My kids, each one snuggled up under my arms; we cheered on our team... Taking their imperfections with their perfections - my son suddenly says...
"Mom, you are the best mom in the whole world". My daughter agrees and snuggles in more. My heart overflows... I never deserved this much love.
This week - challenging, humbling, heart wrenching and with the clock this morning we began a new day... The good stuff---
Father-Daughter breakfast... Faith-child wanted to wear a pretty pink dress for daddy. She wanted her "braid-challenged" mom to "braid my hair, starting all the way up here (pointing to the top of her hair) and make it go all the way around the side an under".... I tried my best... She looked like a princess to daddy!
Guarding our Hearts - that was the breakfast theme.
-Be on guard
Reading the material it strikes me that as much as my Faith-child needs to know that her identity is in God, that God loves us and asks us to love one another; that we need to be quick to listen, slow to speak. That TRUE beauty comes from within, that we must seek wisdom each day and finally to guard our hearts from the districtive commentary which runs through our heads, tears us down and makes us who we aren't! As much as my daughter needs to read that, so does this mom needs to be reminded...
On the opposite side if the morning, my son and I headed to the Good Egg. It's our favorite place... We order exactly as he wants, sharing the pancakes, giving each other bites. Laughing and enjoying conversation. The conversation certainly doesn't cure sickness, solve world affairs or involve any sort of science that advances missions but it does put the week behind me and refreshes my soul. This is what my life is suppose to be like.
After breakfast we head to a tiny little park, we are so caught up in our conversation about nothing and everything we miss the homeless man sleeping under the playground equipment. By the time I see him, my son is getting ready to climb up. We leave and head accross to another area, again sleeping homeless men have made a home.
The tough questions are asked... I am at a loss as to what creates the homeless. Again, I am blessed, humbled and thankful.
Tonight the kids are sleeping soundly and I get to have a conversation with all of you. I am thankful for our time together each night.
Sleep well my friends, remember no matter what the day brought you... Your identity is in Chirst, He loves you. He thinks you're beautiful! He wants you to seek Him and guard your hearts and minds in His knowledge! He already took the perfect death and bought you... Bought you with his love... Nothing else, no other struggle matters!