The movie viewing list included I Don't Know How She Does It... great movie for busy moms! It's about a woman who tries to balance it all,.. Family, husband and kids, a busy job which includes traveling, making sure the pies for the bake sale are home-made or rather home-made looking... Everything has to appear flawless and in control. I am not so sure she ever said no in the movie, until the end. The movie cracked me up, art imitating life, my life! Family, Career, Work/life Balance. Such a juggling act... and what really gets accomplished? Not much... too much sacrificing the important things for the not-so-important things.
I catch myself "making-up" to my kids for the moments I miss out on... I try and
keep my promises and I really do believe in quality time verses quantity time. I
am ashamed to say that I don't really "see" my kids daily. Sure I have the privilege to tuck them in every night and wake up with them every morning but I can say I don't "see" them daily. I don't pay attention to the little things like I should. I hear their stories but I can't remember what they are about.
Most week days are a snowball, everyone up and at-em! Out the door by 8:15 or we'll all run late... backpacks, lunches and folders. Tennis shoes tied. Most mornings there is a lot of loud reminding... or nagging according to the love of my life! It's the same reminders repeated daily for five days in a row. Off to school... dropping them off in the round driveway, not ready to let them go to class on their own yet... kisses and hugs then my day can really begin... I've already answered a dozen or so emails by now. Usually 10 minutes late to work... computer on, messages are playing... that's what the morning brings.
On the other end of the day... I leave work, get the kids and the evening check lists starts... home, dinner, bath time... there are dishes to do and laundry piles to go through... UGH. I can't say I do this all by myself but some days it sure feels that way.
A couple of weeks ago I threw a massive pity party, invitation for one; complete with streamers and noisemakers. My pity party swept up everyone in its path - nothing was safe. This schedule wears me down, I feel taken for granted, undervalued, disrespected with every reminder that goes unheard; the balking at a request which will help the schedule flow. The lack of private time in the toilet closet while the husband gets to sleep in. The talking back... I could go on and on. Each of these moments, conversations, etc. get stored up and filed in the rolodex of frustration; that is, until I need a guest list for the party.
This blog really isn't about the pity party... we've made amends, snuggled, worked on communication, apologies and all is forgiven.
I bring all this up tonight because of the movie... because of the night I've had.
My son spent the day and with my parents and rolled nicely into a scheduled sleepover... they got to go look at the airplanes on base, had lunch with my grandparents, ran in the rain, movies and all the other things that only grandparents can do. I got to keep my beautiful daughter for the evening. She is such a girly girl... we held hands in the mall. We talked about clothes; dresses and dress lengths... we looked at hair things... I took her to the store where you get to paint ceramics... a late dinner, soup, salad and breadsticks!
During our time out I got to see her... she is so easy going! Happy to look at pretty things, happy to wander all over the mall with me. Made jokes about clothes, shared with me what she liked. Painting ceramics, picking out soft subtle colors and the perfect brush. Slowly and perfectly painting her owl, pink and blue, yellow and green. Several times saying Thank you for the night... for her dresses, for painting.
At dinner, I served her and she served me. We talked more at dinner and played games. We talked about the food and several times she said thank you for the "girl time". I saw her in all her wonderfulness.... I can't remember the last time I simply enjoyed the relationship of having children verses the tasks to accomplish associated with.
These are the moments of time I need more of. I am no longer chasing the things that do not matter and have decided to intentionally chase the important things..
The letter of the day is N, followed immediately by it's partner O. The word of the day is NO. No more compromise. No more intrusion. No more unimportant when I am missing the important.
Pray for me friends that God shows me the way, the clear and concise path that will lead me where I need to go.