Someone was speaking and I was sitting there. I was listening intently to the talk, the speaker's words dance around me as they sunk in. Good stuff, God stuff - practical for every faction of life.
And then... All of a sudden a title popped in my head. The speaker was drowned out by words bold typed, 18 font in black letters - typed in minds eye. I knew instantly what it was what I am supposed to write next. I flipped to the back of the notebook and wrote the title down.
Chasing my perfect day.
Only I don't usually write my title first, I rarely know how a piece is going to end until it's done! The title was was definitely off topic from the speaker, though I had been wrestling with the idea of getting out of my own way... But that is another blog entry entirely! :)
So I did what I usually do when I don't understand...
I closed my eyes, in that exact moment, with the speaker drowned out and I said...
"Ok God. Chasing my perfect day. I don't understand, but I know you do. Show me how to go with it."
There was nothing. So I waited.
This was all Friday around 3 pm.
Last night before bed I thought about it more, prepared to write - considered the topic shape and then... Nothing.
So I slept.
This morning... The thought process is coming the way that it does when He is feeding me... So yay!
Chasing my perfect day.
What does that even mean? And I thought about perfection...
The idea forms but it feels like an experiment rather than a one time entry. I also like interaction so I sincerely hope this turns into a movement and I encourage those brave enough to take on this journey and share with me and everyone else who reads. Share the stage so to speak.
Chasing my perfect day.
What does a perfect day look like to me... For starters it begins at 6:00 -- no 6:30 am after I have hit the snooze button a couple of times. It begins with coffee because, let's face it - I was probably up too late the night before. It begins with every intention of staying on task and on time for the whole day but I have quickly realized that is too grand an expectation.
It begins with lunch boxes and school backpacks... It begins with dressing the kids and hoping I get myself dressed along the way as well.
But... There is always something, something that doesn't quite fit it into the schedule I had. Like a 7:00 am phone call because someone has a travel emergency or my husband isn't out of bed yet and I am trying to get a whole host of things complete... It's not enough milk in the refrigerator next to the empty coffee creamer bottle someone put away... It's a mid-day conference call that runs too long or... A billion other things that change the course of the perfect day.
What happens to me when I fall behind? I get frazzled and it becomes my sole mission in life to make sure everyone knows I am not a happy camper. I know it's unfair but life is unfair... Right?!?
What I have just described is exactly opposite of perfect, wouldn't you say so?
In actuality, I can't say what my idea of a perfect day would be - I don't think it exists.
I would like to sleep in a little everyday and when I finally raise myself out of bed, I'd love the coffee to be made... And the creamer to be full. I would like to have plesent conversations with people and I would like others to be respectful of my time... I would like to sit with my kids for breakfast as we prepare each other for the day. I would love to be the one to drive them to school each day and pick them up. As for dinner time, I'd love to have unrushed time together as a family and talk about the best and worst parts of our day - where our kids say coming home was the best part. And at the end of the night, when the kids are tucked in bed - prayers having been said and they peacefully fall asleep without frequent trips to get "water" or to the "bathroom" or one more "kiss"... I'd like for a moment to sink into my husband's arms and actually talk about us.
But... That doesn't usually happen and there is a whole lotta "I" in that perfect day... Not enough of what everyone else needs so...
I am starting a journal and I would like you to come along with me.
My days are going to be less of me and more of we. What can I give back to my husband and my kids? How can I build we time in our day and keep the frustration away?
Well these past two days I have put something into practice and I will share it with you... Beginning tomorrow night...
Dear Heavenly Father!
Thank you for this day, for the day that you have made. I thank you for the storms last night that brought everyone into our bed, thank you for those giggles and snuggles. Thank you for creating those memories. Lord, I want to thank you for this idea you have stamped into my head... Chasing my perfect day. And I thank you for the two wonderful days you have blessed me with simply because I listened and obeyed! I look forward to our alone time tomorrow and the blessings that a new day brings.
In your sons holy name I pray. Amen.