In high school I liked this guy, he was really good and kind – he liked me too… though I think a bit more than I really liked him. We’d talk on the phone and he’d visit me at my house. He was also well liked… which was evident at his funeral. We hadn’t known each other long… he was killed in a car accident. It was my first exposure to life and death. I couldn’t understand why someone so young would die and - I needed for it all to make sense.
I began going regularly to youth group at church. They spoke about Jesus and His love for all people, it made sense to me so I decided to follow Christ. I do not remember much about the process, the whole admitting, believing, accepting… but I do remember standing up and being baptized.
God was speaking to me, I suppose the tugging to understand was God speaking to me the whole time..
I wish I could stay that it all “stuck” at that point, it did not. I left open the door to God when I needed him to perform changes in my life but I didn’t open the Bible I had. I also left a door open to sin and the things of the flesh. I am not proud of who I was; mostly about myself, my desires and being seen… life spun out of control. I lost friends, changed groups and became someone I didn’t know.
Once I graduated I met a really good guy; I had been dating a really bad guy --- or maybe we were just really bad together. Regardless, in meeting this really good guy I felt God’s nudging again and I began praying. I prayed for him to guide my steps in the relationship, I asked for his direction and confirmation that he was the “one”. We were engaged and married within a year. As a couple we found belonging to a church wasn’t easy, we couldn’t find one that fit or one we agreed with. My husband was not a practicing believer, but more unchurched and we needed to find a place we could plug in--- it took us 11 years and a 10 year battle with infertility to draw us closer to a relationship with God. Helpless situation, lots of arguments, an emotional affair and the threat of divorce… before we finally, by God’s own miraculous grace, gave us twins. I’d love to talk more about that because that story in of itself includes an audible voice from God straight to this mommy’s heart and more love and mercies than one lifetime on earth deserves but it’s a long story…
Getting back, the twins lead us to a small Baptist Church where people loved our kids as much as we did… a church which also loved us and invested in us. We became regular attenders, began serving in Children’s Ministry and we began to grow in the word, change, understand and love each other, our kids, family and friends more than before; understand why going to church is so important to a believer… And ultimately where my husband accepted Christ, was baptized as a profession of faith and I stood beside him reconfirming my decision to follow Christ.
It’s been no turning back since that point… not so say it’s been easy because it hasn't. We've had lapses in judgment and I still sin, I do… every.single.day but this is where my relationship with him comes in. Life was not good without Christ – there is no meaning to the suffering or the struggle, the purpose for why I am here cannot be found anywhere but in God’s holy word… that I was created by Christ, for Christ in the image of Christ. That he made a way for me so that I would not be separated from Him for all of eternity. That I get to walk a path He designed and get to hear him every day… that He is the only living God mankind can claim. I am thankful for those blessings!
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"
"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord"
"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
"that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."
"For anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ"
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present or the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”